Monday, May 06, 2013


In a recent skype conversation with a friend, I mentioned my desire to do something worthwhile with my life...she laughed....silence.....and then with a twist of the ironic she responded.."of course, because you have never done that!" We switched topics.

This exchange took a few moments but the echo of her words unravelled many thoughts and emotions, events and encounters...and believe me, after almost 30 years of touring, travelling, performing and speaking, I had a lot of memories to draw upon! My overwhelming furiotic head narrative finally eased into a relatively calm and collected epiphany - I actually never allow myself to be happy about my achievements because they are never enough! So what lies beneath the never enough? What fears or fallacies occupy these depths? And.... have I allowed identity thieves to sit on the sofas of my inner chambers and rob me of any justifiable (and indeed God-given) sense of value?

Brene Brown quotes global activist Lynne Twist from her book 'The Soul of Money',
"Before we even sit up in bed, before our feet touch the floor, we're already inadequate, already behind, already losing, already lacking something....this internal condition of scarcity, this mind-set of scarcity, lives at the very heart of our jealousies, our greed, our prejudice and our arguments."

According to Brown, worrying about scarcity or 'never enough', is "our culture's version of post-traumatic stress" and its an epidemic! "Never good enough, never perfect enough, never thin enough, never safe enough"...the list goes on...and thrives in a culture where everyone is "hyperaware of lack." She continues, "The opposite of scarcity its very core is vulnerability and worthiness."

Already challenged and only a few pages in. My head keeps telling me I know all this, but my heart is  disagreeing...another case of dualism in design...'s not about bigging things up in order to feel more than enough; it's not about pimping up versions of the truth and glazing them with a glossy finish; it's not even about multiplying facebook followers by enhancing your digital persona.... BUT it is about cultivating a place of worthiness and having the courage to own our vulnerabilities...

The recently planet-earth departed writer and contemplative Brennan Manning often spoke about 'belovedness' and below is my most favourite quote of his. There seems to be a tie up...and maybe this never enough will be bravely faced and conquered month by month as I actively cultivate worthiness - because of my belovedness and not because of any achievements...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

So Good, So True. Thank you.
J. Abercrombie